Kiddo says I’m super practical. And she’s right. I am. I have a very blunt way of looking at things, and of expressing myself (the rare times when I actually do, that is). I don’t usually resort to politically correct means, or diplomacy. I somehow don’t revel in false pretenses and sugar coated daggers. Kiddo and Su are the worst hit by this, and they endure it just because they love me. Add to this the fact that I don’t know how to talk to girls, and things get worse from there on.
So my point is, I’m not the guy who’d care for emotions while he thinks. Maybe thats because I’ve been instructed by some of the coldest discplinarians literature and fiction have ever produced. I confess I’m heavily inspired by both Batman and Sherlock Holmes. These two characters are absolutely the best at what they do, and reading about them has made me follow them closely. One of their striking characteristics is that they are super practical and won’t give away to emotions even in the face of of turmoil. Somehow I came to absorb this like a sponge absorbs water.
Every time I’ve had to confront a disaster, I just clenched my gut and kept walking, assuring myself that what’s done is done, and I can’t change what happened. Every time I fell, I just got up, brushed aside the pain and bruises and scars and started walking again like nothing ever happened. every time I was down, I put on a mask of practicality to the external world and behaved as if I’m in control and that I can take on bigger storms than this. Every time I just kept suppressing the emotions telling myself that emotions make a man weak and they don’t help you in anyway.
So is it true? Do emotions really make you weak? My dad couldn’t stand his children taking blood test, he was so scared of needles. A friend of mine gets hurt so often by so trivial things that I have to think a thousand times before talking to her, even though she knows that I just say things to pull her leg. So my question is simple. What is the line that you must respect while giving in to emotions? I remember a line from a famous Marathi novel called ‘Radheya’. In it, Shree Krishna says, ” man enjoys and indulges himself in self-pity.” True isn’t it? The sensitive of us are always pampered, they always get extra care and attention. I know people who’ve told their friends they’ve cancer, just to gain sympathy. But I fear I’m digressing.
Lets get back to the question. What is the line where you discard your emotions and take a stand based on facts and reality? A stand that says that ‘I know this is not going to happen, so let me not dream about it now. Let me just stand up again and take a step, even if it’s a wobbly little step.’ Let me go further. When do you really let emotions take control? When do you let others know that you have a heart that beats and feels pain, just as their’s does, and that you need to protect it as much as they do? Complicated? I don’t know. Screwed up? maybe. Intense? most definitely.
I remember a quote by Thomas Fuller. He said, ” Some have been thought brave because they were afraid to run away.”
Oh! And before I take a bow, that practicality thing I talked about at the start? There are some who’d say there is an alternate phrase for it. They call it ‘Learned Helplessness.’ Some other call it ‘State of Denial’.