Pain and happiness…

Had my birthday yesterday (20th). We have a very… what should I call it? ‘aggressive’ way of demonstrating our love for our friends and making their b’days memorable. Let’s take mine for example…

So my friends come to my room, they take me to the bathroom, very caringly and lovingly, I must add. There they start drenching me to the bone with cold water.. (considering we’re living outside the city in totally untamed habitat, AND it’s November… just imagine the temperature at 11.30 p.m.). That’s not enough, they make me stand under the cold shower, which I have to do because I know how disobedient friends are treated on their b’day. More water games follow. I’m but a condemned standing in front of a firing squad. Buckets after buckets of water are splashed on me and I’m shivering like hell. But who cares? It’s not like it’s my bday or anything…

Then comes the really scary part. I travel horizontally over the shoulders of my comrades and they take me to the terrace. I get MY FIRST INSTALLMENT of b’day bumps, and believe me, we don’t kick because it’s a b’day…we kick to take out life’s frustrations on some poor, helpless soul who just happened to be born on this day. On this particular occasion, it was my turn. So after a brief experience of 3rd degree torture, we set for the main arena where the heavyweights are waiting… and I mean HEAVYWEIGHTS. These gentlemen are experts in kicking, but more important than that they can match Roberto Carlos in the sheer force of the kick. So we reach the canteen and I’m fed to these experts as a specimen to be taken care of. So here I am, standing, surrounded by the greatest football and rugby players who never made it to the school team, my hands held my 2 guys ( remember thakur in Sholay…something pretty much like that), and these experts start their job with an umparalleled professionalism. The kicks start raining, and the minnows too take their chances now. This goes on for about 30 mins, at the end of which I’m barely able to stand.

Now comes the cake, I cut it and everyone sings and normalcy returns. But wait… there is a second cake!!! And you know what’s the ‘bullet between the eyes’???? It’s goddamned pink in colour!!!!😦 and I don’t have to cut it… I just have to bury my face in it. If I refuse, more kicks will follow, and God knows the experts love another shot at a sore piece of ass ( sore due to kicking… mind you!!!) so I obediently bury my face in the cake, others help me do it and after that it’s plastered on my face like I’m a bloody statue waiting for a final touch of PoP…

You know what… we’ll make damn good interrogators with any law enforcement agency. We can break even a CIA or a Mossad agent down.

So here I am, this is me. The worst part is taking a bath at 1 am when the hot water comes in sporadic bursts. But as I messaged my dear dear dear friends today…

‘The kicks and the pain not withstanding, today was one of the best days in my life. For all that you’ve been and done for me… Thank you.’

This b’day made me a firm believer in non-violence. All these kicks are useless. So I’ve decided not to kick anyone on his b’day from now on. There is just one clause to this. Two of the guys who were at the forefront of this planning have their b’days in December.

And my name is Vengeance.

DELTA1

2 thoughts on “Pain and happiness…

  1. hahahahha…..
    thats what friends are for…πŸ˜›
    to kick ass….to hold you….to lift your spirits….
    god bless you broπŸ™‚

  2. Jus wanted to let U know tht I mssd out all d fun d oder guys had…πŸ˜› On a serious note, mssd ur bday Andy…πŸ™‚ love U loads !!

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