Kiddo said the other day that I’m girlfriend incompatible. Yikes!!! now that gotta hurt!!! You see, I AM interested in girls ( just in case some of you might question my orientation in matters of the heart). But then, I’ve been single since I came of age (pun intended). So the fact remains that I’ve failed to capture a heart and woo her or make her swoon (Dead Poets Society guys!!). Now you see, I’m not averse to love at all. I’m quite excited with the concept of finding someone who can tolerate me for the rest of her life and still be courageous and lion – hearted to love me and care for me. But the two comma (million dollar) question is… can I do the same?
Now I have a rigid notion of a typical boyfriend in my mind. What all does he need to do?
1. Be romantic. (the only thing I can’t be)
2. Be ready to surrender. (read the thing inside the brackets above)
3. Be ready to appreciate her when she wears pink. ( you know what’s meant to be written here)
4. Not even look at other girls. ( what the f#$%…)
There are many other things that make a good boyfriend, I’m sure. So let’s see how I fare when compared to the five points above.
1. I have no idea whatsoever how to be romantic. Though I’m fairly good at speaking but I can’t think of any romantic lines anytime. That makes me vulnerable to allegations that I’m cold hearted ( and I strenuously object to this, read my poem ‘I wish I could fly’ and you’ll know).
2. Since I come from an all-boys school, I’m a bit brash when behaving with girls. So that throws the “be ready to surrender” point right out of the window. One of my good friends, MJ told me once that I’m rubbing people the wrong way with such attitude. She was right and the way I’ve pulled her leg, she has been very tolerant of me.
3. I can and will never appreciate a pink dress. I mean it does look cute on girls, but I’m allergic to it. And I go bonkers when I see a guy wearing something pink.
4. I believe that just because you have a girlfriend doesn’t take away your right to look at other girls. I’m ready to debate this one fervently so there’s not point me and my girlfriend will see eye to eye on this point.
Now people who have gone down this path (again, pun intended) will be in arms against me. So be it. Don’t assume though, that I haven’t been in love and these are theories of an armchair lounger, because they are not. And this ain’t because there aren’t any girls in my life. Believe me, I’ve been blessed with some of the most awesome girls God ever had the chance to create ( and I mean not only “anatomically” 😉 but in nature and character).
So at the end of it all, I guess my nature to put myself before anything and everything prevents me from being compatible ( you can read that as being selfish). I can be caring, understanding and whatever else that is required, but I cannot put the heart ahead of the brain. I guess that is the bottom line.
To sign off, I’ll reproduce some of my gmail status messages that I wrote to piss off the ‘Lovers’ community out there 😉 . And just for the records, I don’t know if these are already available on the net, so I consider them my original work of literature.
‘ Show me true love, and I’ll show you the trail of broken hearts it has left behind.’
‘ I threw love out of my heart. It responded by breaking my heart.’
‘ The most futile cry of man is his wish to be understood. His attempt to understand, perhaps, even more futile.”
Happy loving, fellas!!!